Dedicated to Octopuses, sort of.
By Thomas Scott and Himsam Park.
THE LAND GODS
My school of fish, it sucks. Sometimes I just want the land gods to pluck me right out of the ocean. Their nets are beautiful, a painful process, but all worth it once you get blessed by the above. Today is the best day though. today I found a net.
TODAY IS THE BEST DAY
“Come on, Oc, don’t do this!” screamed my friend, Puff.
“It’s beautiful,” I responded. “I’m swimming into it!” It seemed sturdy, probably.
“Don’t do this!” screamed my other friend, Crabby. “I heard that land Gods smell funny.”
“They’re raising the net!” Puff screamed in joy.
“Shut up!” screamed Crabby. “Hello or goodbye, Oc?”
“Goodbye,” I replied. I swam with astonishing speed towards the net, but then. “Water! I can’t breathe.”
“Boys, we’re having octopus tonight!” screamed a male land god as I got brought above the water.
“Freeze!” screamed a female land god. “I am Marine Biologist Helen Bisher and I am taking this octopus into my custody. “Henry, take this little octopus and put him in a tank, he seems sick.”
IT ALL WENT BLACK
“Wake up,” said a sleazy looking squid.
“I am up,” I responded.
“So you finally learned the truth, didn’t ’cha, mate. That the land gods ain’t so perfect after all. They either eat us, stick needles into us, or put us into glass containments that we are in now, mate.”
“What do you mean, I’m stuck here.
“Well, maybe if you stick with me you ain’t. Name’s “S” by the way. And you should learn some of the rules here, Ster over there he can get you anything, never retaliate, and follow my lead.” Then, I got so angry that I started banging against the glass.
“Get me out of here!” land gods in black suits started raining down from. They grabbed me. I inked them. Some swam back to the surface, but the others were back at it again. They pulled me into a led surrounded tank and started hitting me with these, these, lightning bolts. “OWWWWWWW!”
“I think he’s had enough,” said one of them. They sent me back to the main tank.
“How’d you like that experience,” said “S” when I came back.
“No, but I’m ready to break out,” I responded.
“It’s not that easy.”
“Attention!” screamed a shark followed by a bunch of his other sharks. “Go to your led tanks.”
“Who’s that,” I said to “S”.
“Oh, that’s, well I don’t know his name, but call every shark here, Sir. They are pretty much the land god’s soldiers who enforce the rules and make us go to our led tanks, or prison cells. Now go to an empty one and sleep there.”
“Ok, if you say so…” When I was in my bed, it was comfy for a prison bed. It had moss layer and a coral pillow. I was about to sleep until a shark came over to me.
He said, “ Y’know, we could use a octopus for our squad, names Runt.”
“Not interested. I don’t care if I die.” I said.
“Why did you tell me that?” Runt said.
“Cause I wanna die. Tell your other sharky friends to go eat me or something. Or even better, eat me now!”
“Nah. I’m a vegetarian, plus you’re funny”
“I’m only 11. Why am I here?”
“The land gods decide all.”
“Why did I even do this” I muttered.
“What a beautiful day,” “S” said to me as we walked into the main tank together.
“This is beautiful to you, being trapped in a tank and having land gods flash lights at you.”
“Those are cameras by the way.”
“It somehow puts us onto paper, but unliving.”
“You want one?”
“Sure, I guess.” We walked over to the back of the tank, a Lobster was sitting there.
“Ster,” “S” said to the Lobster.
“What,” Ster responded.
“I need a waterproof camera.”
“That’s gonna cost you.”
“Deal.” They shook hands.
“RIOT, RIOT, RIOT!” chanted “S” as the whole tank joined in.
“Stop, Stop,” said the main shark.
“We are not afraid to bite,” said the other sharks. Fish were ripping artificial plants out of the ground. Ster was having the time of his life, he was riding the shark I met earlier, Runt. “S” was trying to pull himself out of the tank. I though, didn’t know what to do. So I grabbed a tag of the main shark and read it out loud in a scream.
“Our main shark is actually named ‘Stephani’ and isn’t a girl, he’s boy. Everyone burst out laughing.
“Shut up!” yelled Stephani. “Who started this riot!’
““S”!” someone yelled.
“You’re coming with me.” The sharks dragged him into a led tank where we couldn’t see or hear them.
Later that night “S” came into my led tank.
“Dude if you get caught you will be brought to the experiment room.”
“Been there, done that,” he responded. “I got the camera by the way.”
“I don’t want it.”
“I know, we’re not going to use it. We’re going to put it into the shark’s tank because the land gods check their tank every morning. Then when they find it, the sharks, except for Runt, he doesn’t share a tank, will get sent to the reform tank and we easily escape the tanks.”
“I don’t know, mate, bye.”
IN THE HOLE
I was dragged out of my bed, by the sharks.
One of them said, “We have identified you as the fish who saddened Sir Stephani.”
“Into the hole!” I thought I was done but they went passed me. They grabbed a fish and threw him in the hole.
“You’re in there for five days,” said a shark.
Then another shark came to me and said, “Hey newbie, don’t fool around or else you’ll end up like that fish.”
“I’m an octopus, so I won’t end up as that fish” I sprayed ink on him and threw him into the hole. Then I did a epic dance and went for the reform tank. “S” and Ster came with me and said at the same time, “You’re making a reputation for yourself.”
“Nobody cares, I don’t care if I’m a wanted criminal.” I said while running.
“If you really make them annoyed, then they will,” Ster said.
“Well Ster and I are leaving,” said “S”. “We hate the reform tank.” They left me. The sharks caught me. They were with Stepani.
“You!” screamed Stepani.
“Yes, sir,” I squeaked in response.
“You need to go to the reform tank.” I didn’t get to respond they were already walking me there. When I got in it was pitch black. Then a light flickered on. It lit up only a chair in the middle of the room. “Sit.” I sat in the chair. They took ropes and strapped me in.
“What is this!” I yelled. “I thought this was supposed to reform me.”
“Oh, it will, it will,” he responded. “Lets see how far a octopusse can strech.” They bit my arms and started pulling. At first I didn’t feel anything, except for the biting at the end of my arms. Until, they pulled my arms out of the room. I felt my skin tighten; all my blood went to one spot in my arms. My arms started to rip. “Stop!” yelled Stephani. “He’s had enough…”
“Where am I,” I said as I woke with a start.
“You’re in China,” said an obviously annoyed Nurse Shark.
“No, you dimwit! You’re in the hospital tank. Now go talk with those other sick bums in dining tank.”
“OOKKAAAAYYYY?” I walked into the dining room to see all of this amazing food, from seaweed to fish to mollusk. It was great! At least until three trouts walked up to me.
“Hey, kid, you want some algae,” said the first. Ok, I had had it with these bums I’m going to become a suck up to the sharks.
“These trouts are smoking algae!” I screamed. A shark swam over to us.
“You guys are in huge trouble!” the shark screamed as he came over to us.
“Those two ugly trouts are smoking algae!” screamed the trout who offered me algae in the first place.
“You’re coming with me,” said the shark as he dragged away the dazed trouts.
“Why would you do that to your friends?”
“Those guys are as good of friends as HELEN PARK! But you, you could be something, follow my example and you and “S” will break out, but I’m coming with you.”
“I thought I was supposed to be following “S”’s example, and whose Helen Park?”
“Oh, you have not heard yet, Helen Park is the queen of the land gods, took power, except for Canada, about six months ago.”
“Now g’night, you’re gonna need it if you’re hanging out with “S”, names Mike by the way.”
THE WONDERS OF “S”
“Kid, wake up!’ yelled “S”.
“Again, I am up, I’m just lying down,” I responded.
“Well I figured out what we have to do after we frame the sharks.”
“Well, I learned that the land gods can’t come in water without oxygen tanks. Strangely we can’t go on land without water. So I figured that if we can modify the oxygen tanks, we could make them water tanks. Since we have to go on land to get to the ocean. I got Mike working on a bomb to blow a hole in the tank so we can escape.”
“Good plan, and you know Mike?”
“Everybody does, he’s the big bum.”
“Ok, but what if we run into trouble?”
“Well see I was thinking about that, and we are more powerful than the land gods. All we need to do is, get armor.”
“Where are we gonna get that from?”
FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!!!
“I’m a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world!” I sang to myself while walking past a saltwater crocodile.
“GIRL!” he screamed.
“Shut up!” I yelled back.
“Ehh, what you gonna do about it, ehh, ehh! You come on block, you play by my rules, ehh!”
“You talk funny,” I snapped back.
“You making fun of my voice, ehh, ehh. You got a problem with me. I need to teach you a lesson, ehh!” Randomly a bunch of sardines surrounded us, like they were waiting for a fight.
“FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!” they all screamed.
“No, I don’t want to-” I was cut off by the Crocs piercing teeth digging into my arm and dragging me around. I squirted him with ink to fend him off. He swam into the artificial plants and disappeared. “I won, I won!” I screamed. The sardines surrounded me and cheered me on.
“RAAAAHH!” screamed the croc as he appeared out of nowhere. He bit a piece of my arm off. “Ehh, now get out of here, you bum.”
“NOOOOOOOO!” I swam at him with astonishing speed, as fast as when I swam into the net. I stretched my arms out and shut his mouth, grabbed his tail, and pinned him down!
“Ehh, looks likes I’m going to have to slap you all over.”
“How you gonna do that.” He smiled.
“By doing this.” Suddenly, he broke his tail free and started slapping me till I let go. “Had enough yet?”
“I can do this all day, Barbie.”
“What did you just call me?”
“She’s here?” said the Croc in a worried voice.
“No, but “S” is.” Then “S” beat the Helen out of the Croc.
“You love fighting with trouble, don’t ’cha,” “S” told me. The Croc crawled up from the ground.
“My folks, your folks, here, at lights out…” Okay, yay! But who was Helen park? Why was everyone afraid of her?
“Lights out, you worthless pathetic excuses for fish!” screamed Stephani. As soon as the lights when out I realized that “S” was standing in my room.
“What the heck, man! I’m trying to sleep!” I screamed at him.
“If you want to live you, Mike, Ster, and I are gonna have to fight Croc and his fellow bums.”
“I’ll live if you guys protect me.”
“We can’t sneak into your room every night, and when we’re not there, they will be.”
“Fine, but if I get killed, I’m blaming you!”
While we walking to the place Mike said, “Okay guys, someone might die today, but it’s okay, because you’re not gonna get a funeral.”
“Inspirational,” Ster replied.
“Shut up, you bums,” Croc interrupted.
“Ha,” laughed Mike, “Where are all your folks, I don’t see anything. Then, out of nowhere thirty alligators appeared.
“What about now,” remarked Croc.
“All ye wemen, ye can’t do nuttin but sit down and cry to ye mummys,” said “S”.
“Ehh, Ehh, attack!” All of the alligators charged at us at once. The were destroying us. I grabbed to by their neck and threw them on the ground! We were unstoppingly fighting until Ster took out a underwater AK Forty Seven and shot it. Everyone stopped.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah you stop!”
“Put that stuff away!” screamed “S”.
“Ehh, we don’t want any part of this,” said Croc as he swam away like a coward.
“I guess we won,” I said. “But I wanna know something, have you guys ever seen Helen Park.”
“S” responded, “We’ve not only seen her, we’ve seen her kill our friend…”
This big shot Helen Park was weird because whenever you say her name, a chill will go down your spine. Plus, how are you afraid of a girl??? “S” began to tell the story…
“It was an average night,” he started. “Nothing special, just me and the other guys swimming around with our other friend, Jimmy, (he had a weird name) all of the sharks were out doing a training routine. Then, all of the sudden, the door was busted open. About twenty little land god’s were fighting her, Helen Park, the demon, she was drowning them in these flushy machines. We were all freaking out! Jimmy screamed, ‘Let’s get out of her!’ It was too late. Helen Park jumped into the tank grabbed Jimmy and started smacking the little land god’s with him. Without water, he suffocated.” Ster, Mike, and “S” bowed their heads.
“That’s messed up!” I responded.
“I guess I’ll tell you,” Mike said out of nowhere. “I put the camera in the shark’s tank. We break out tomorrow. Are those water tanks ready, Ster?”
“Yep. Let’s do this thing!”
THE BREAK OUT
“Wake up!” screamed “S”. I started blinking my eyes.
“This time you actually woke me up,” I responded.
“The sharks were caught, they’re in the reform tank. We’re breaking out.” “S” put a machine on me that I think is the water tank.
“Let’s do this thing.” We met up with Mike and Ster in the middle of the tank. Then, just when we thought we were safe, lang god’s started raining down from above with their, their, lightning bolts. They were shocking us.
“Oc, you and I grab their legs, while Ster and Mike bite them.”
“Got it!” “S” and I stretched out as far as we could grabbing all their legs and hung them upside down.
“Let’s eat!” screamed Mike as he started biting away.
“Eww,” said Ster as he started biting them.
“They’ve had enough!” I screamed as I threw them out of the tank.
“Let’s blow this tank, ye wemen,” “S” responded. “Literally.” Ster put a detonator on the glass and blew it apart.
“BOOOOOOMM!!” Flying cars crashed through the roof. Followed by, Helen Park!”
“NOOOOOOO!!!” screamed Mike. “She’s here.” A bunch of little land god’s got out of the cars, but one signaled them to get back in. He came over to us.
He said, “Hello, my name is Bob and I am the leader of the resistance, come with me…”
TO BE CONTINUED IN BOBBY AND OC STUCK IN WORLD WAR HELEN; EARTH TWO!